here are some fun GV transcriptions i’ve gotten:

From my good friend Phil, who is having trouble with his monitor:

Hey. It’s Phil calling to ask you questions. Just curious if you’ve ever run into an issue with your monitor like I just did. I think my mother died. I don’t know if you really. Another little, but I just started getting these. Birkel flights like he kinda went past, but I just went black, or the other office til the desktop and Also unlike this little wanna sort of paint all over the screenwriter, redline Jill, I’ve quite live, and I hope this is gonna fill the whole screen with little colors. The. Grink I was well, so try to clear off and just trying to Mon around it’s just a monitors my cos I’m not in the still do it, so I don’t know if you know anything about those type of this crap anyway if if you have a chance give me a call if you could help. If not, I will. P Olympia for a while so. Alright dude. Later.

From Doug, the douchebag tech at Qwest who doesn’t return calls or emails:

Are you. This is Douglas quest tech support. I was asked to give you a call regarding some slow speed issues and dropping connection. Mike with your view. I. P set up or if you have any was alright. Take a look at the levels email what I’m seeing is your upload speed is o’clock in the red, it’s full rate, it actually and it’s about half what it should and I have taken some errors pummeling as well, which I don’t really have any to do is congested Gateway hurt your, and I T data or V D S, L to as it’s also called which it there is really cool congested gateways on on that type of system so something else. Maybe inside wiring issue. Jack as you possibly the modem call me and so yeah but you see a problem, so I’ll be here for the a couple more hours today if you wanna send me an email. I can give me a call back. I want to hear from you. It’s Doug dot Morgan at Qwest, dot, com and again. I’ll be here all day tomorrow so I don’t talk to you today. Thanks so much bye bye now.

From our Realtor:

Hey Chris Calum ward O’Brien doing a couple of things. I printed out a bunch of stuff, just a little while ago. I wanted to get out and fill love and that’ll give them an account. The warm up and then it occurred to me. I, I. I’d check in with you find out how we’re ready to go and then where I need to come pick you up so I can come pick you up and I will get out. Rock and Roll see what we can see it was wonderful slushy dreary morning but in the meantime, just give me a call when you’re up and I got plenty of things I can be David here for a second. I’ll call you back a little bit import see you bye.

So, as you can see, the transcription tech is sort of accurate, but for the most part it just generates what Cadie describes as “weird poetry”.

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w t f.

this made it on the front page of drudge today and made me hate people even more.

the thief(thieves?) removed the stereo by cutting the wiring harness (even though it had a fucking plug that would have likely been just as easy to pull out) and also removed the rear speakers from the car. everything else appears to be intact. the seat was nearly all the way to the dash, and was reclined back quite a bit indicating to me that the thief had to have been extremely short (and likely had a tiny dick as well.) also, it had no gas in it. luckily, the last time i put some fuel in it, i decided to lock the gas cap. i can see that they tried to pry it open but didn’t succeed. defeated by some plastic, bitches.

the drive back to albuquerque was a bummer because it was so fucking hot outside. the car’s a/c died a couple years ago. it made it back from los lunas with nary a problem. i actually feel more bummed now that i got it back than i did when it was stolen. i’m still going to shoot for getting a new car in the next 6-12 months, though. i’m sure my car will still be running when i get rid of it– nothing seems to stop it. i’ve applied a few new security measures that i hope might deter someone from stealing it again– i won’t discuss any of them, of course but seriously, if someone defeats all the security measures just to steal my car again, they can have it. i think i might even leave a note with a number to call if they steal it so i can mail the title to them.

i called the los lunas police department to get the report info about the vehicle. it was actually located on saturday. the way it was located is pretty amusing and totally atypical luck for me. some old lady called to report her car stolen from her house in los lunas. she went driving around with someone and they spotted her car at an apartment complex. she called the police and they showed up and started running the plates and stuff. while they were in the parking lot, the apt mgr came out and said “this car doesn’t belong here, either.” ‘this car’ turned out to be my car. two stolen vehicles on one property. gee. i wonder if maybe the person stealing them lives nearby? maybe?

anyway, i’m going to go with cadie and get the car on wednesday, and i’m going to replace the ignition cylinder and lock, and i’m going to get a club for it also. i think i might start by parking it at my mom’s for a little while, to see if i can keep it from being stolen or having windows smashed in or something.

if this doesn’t illustrate just how much of a dork i am, i don’t know what would.